1960s. What am I?
Rewind over five decades to my formative years. I found myself in a joint-family home that included my parents, grand-parents, uncles and aunts. Religiously they were quite diverse, and that gave me a jump-start on an awareness that might otherwise have taken several years of discovery. My grand-mother was strictly religious (to the extent of forcing other members of the family to do certain things on certain days). My grand-father was more ritualistic than religious, and used to conduct an annual religious event that had been a family tradition, but didn't force anyone to do anything. My mother was in a state of surrender to whatever/ whoever power-that-be seeking strength from any source to help cope with distressful situations in the family. My father and uncles - I used to hear my grand-mother talk scornfully about their rebellion against religious practices and to be found nowhere near home when some rituals were conducted at home, and I listened to those stories with admiration! Who I was was not something that bothered me at that time, but what I am (on the religious spectrum) was a determination I thought I could make. Though my father and uncles (who were 30-somethings by that time and married to mostly conservative women) were never overt about their thoughts, and I found them slowly become religious for various reasons, I decided that what my father wanted to be was the most reasonable stance to adopt. Surprisingly, I got not no push-back from my father and he allowed me to engage in skeptical discussions. Maybe he was vicariously living his atheistic dream through me!
1970s. Experiences and Experiments
On the home front, my younger brother suffered a debilitating health condition and all family members were running from pillar to post - exploring all medical avenues available at that time, as well as succumbing to any number of "snake-oil" suggestions from "well-wishers" who provided anecdotal, unsubstantiated "success stories". Though the medical diagnostic efforts and treatments did not particularly turn out to be effective, they convinced me that there can be a method to the madness. Witnessing the futility of the latter, the absence of a super-power was established in my mind beyond a shadow of doubt.
In high school, I made a good friend (now deceased) who aspired to go to medical school, had his conditioning of ghost stories and the like, but was eager (I think now, looking back) to dispel his own fears. So, he and I ventured through graveyards and crematoriums and proved to ourselves through such and a few other experiments that the occult does not exist. I also heard about Dr. Abraham Kovoor (1898-1978), the self-proclaimed rationalist and could procure one of his books - Gods, Demons, and Spirits - which I read cover to cover a few times.
By the end of this decade, I was a die-hard rationalist!
1980s-2000s. Cruise Control.
On the personal front, these were the years of a bad marriage (now terminated) and I avoided any ideological conflicts on the religiosity dimension. What I did accomplish, though, is to raise two children in a religiously "anti-septic" environment. Though they went to some Hindu classes once-a-week or so, I was happy to see that they left no mark on them. Exposing them to the views of the native Americans, Buddhists, and any other faiths they wanted to learn about, I feel I have launched them in the world to be whatever they may want to be, and molt from one skin to another as they may find appropriate and on their own free will.
On the social front, religiosity was an awkward topic. There were people who thought they could "reconvert" (should I call this "revert"?) me through flawed arguments (e.g., if there is no god, how can you explain x, y, z) and retreated with some bad feelings when they realized their line of argument didn't hold water with me.
2010s-2020s. The Renaissance!
Having remarried to a wonderfully supportive lady, the world seems to have opened up. With unconditional support to each other's journeys on this dimension, we have met numerous like-minded and accepting people and individuals where one feels safe to be oneself. Where were all these people all these years, I sometimes wonder. Social media have also facilitated such critical masses spanning age and geography boundaries.
It is not that awkward interactions in unexpected settings have completely disappeared. The personal journey to better deal with such people and situations continues.
One definition that has particularly appealed to me is the term "humanist." Greg Epstein defines this concisely as "good without god." The only part that I don't like about this definition is a prevalent thought that (my) godliness is highly correlated with virtue (and your godliness is not!) but ungodliness is most certainly devoid of virtue. So be it; I'd rather be in acceptance of the world around me than in denial!
3 comments:
Wonderfully expressed Aseem. I wouldn't disagree with any thoughts you have voiced or decisions you have taken on dealing with what is.
Great column with great candor. I can relate a lot to my life as well. Things have changed in society and that is the reason you ( and myself as well) did not find too many like-minded persons in past. My own mind has changed a lot in many areas.
Church attendance is decline everywhere. Some religious leaders ( Ralph Red on 9/23/21 at real time with Bill Maher at HBO ; Is Church Attendance a Decline, or a Migration? - NYTimes.com ) defend by saying it is not decline but it a migration.
It’s hardly a coincidence that self-help is booming at a time when America is less religious. The Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life finds that nearly one in five of us claims no religious affiliation at all. But we’re still in need of guideposts — a Good Book or a guru — when our appetites, our relationships, our finances, or the general busyness of life get the best of us
So, the structured religion had its value in managing society and so was the need. It also had its burden with rituals, superstitions and pumped up superiority complex. However in modern days the “Self-help” books, preaching has substituted that need. Among all the vices of structured religions implicit or explicit indoctrination of “Holier than thou” is the worst one. Monotheistic religions insists that polytheism is Neopaganism or contemporary Pagan religion and so backward and primitive.
"good without god” is a great definition. However I do not see something inherently wrong with God. To me it is just a hypothesis or model t explain few things difficult to explain and means to keep hope alive and active. Following is part of my WhatsApp chat yesterday with my friend
Friend:
I have book of Dr.P.V.Vartak ,consisting of all his articles.
He was a great man, whom I had met personally a decade back , who not only studied the ancient Indian Science written in the Upanishads aka vedants but also implemented them.
He used to sit in a samadhi and could do time travel also in the past and also in the future .One example being ,he had found out the things which NASA was going to find out in it's first mission to Mars which were proved to be 100% true.
Tushar:
There is a popular school of thought that in ancient India many of the modern technology existed which includes stem cell, Human body part transplant, planes, Missile, atom bomb, Even Einstein theory of relativity, Hawkins black hole etc existed in Rigveda . Many national leaders of prominence reiterate such theories often. They blur the boundary of mythology and history. I am not sure if that is also the case here. In my opinion rebirth, heaven , hell are all hypothesis and matter of faith . if it helps one , one can believe in it,
Friend: read :dr.p.v.vartak (drvartak.blogspot.com) Please also read
https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/bering-in-mind/ian-stevensone28099s-case-for-the-afterlife-are-we-e28098skepticse28099-really-just-cynics/
Tushar:
I am skeptic ( Aseem’s word) No scientific entity has accepted. Such you tubes exists about NASA's picture of land bridge with India and Sri lank made by Monkey army, Hindu vedic lines in Orgeon(USA) . educated, of MD's and PHD's believe too based on their faith believe in different kind of post-life rewards. Yhe children or parents interviewed by Stevenson had deceived him, that he had asked them leading questions, that he had often worked through translators who believed what the interviewees were saying, and that his conclusions were undermined by confirmation bias, where cases not supportive of his hypothesis were not presented as counting against it. Read http://www.skepdic.com/stevenson.html
this is a crank-prone field . for me , I just find them to be a good exercise of active imagination like jung says , the Tibetan myths on Bodhisattva their reincarnation , emanation and manifestations are really fascinating ranging from Arya avalokiteshvara to Dalai Lama...
Aseem, my journey has certainly been less traumatic than yours, but I have wrestled with the same things at the same time in my life too, and thus feel a special kinship with you even though we have not met for over forty-five years! Knowing you at this stage of my life is proving to be so rewarding, not least because of thoughtful essays like this one!
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