The New Normals ... 2022

 

The second half of the 1900s saw general improvements in the quality of life - I am making many of these observations based on my personal experience of the environment.  On the geo-political front, one saw the rises of democracies and the demises of lesser forms of national administration; on the business front, one saw the digitization of information and increased automation; on the societal front, one saw the rise of secularism and acceptance. (This is not to deny that there still remained significant sections of society that were "left out"). If we defined day-to-day life as "the normal", the normal improved generally over time, notwithstanding small ups and downs along the way.

Since the turn of the century, we have been seeing a high frequency of events that have each caused a quantum fall in the world order (From another frame of reference - a person in a different geography and/or socio-cultural-economic situation - the view may be different, but the trend is uncannily the same):

1. Sep 11, 2001 was the first such event. Not only did it cause unprecedented damage to life and property, it changed world order to what we came to call "the new normal". In this new normal, travel became an order-of-magnitude more difficult, as traveler had the burden of proving themselves innocent and safe to other travelers by going through a high level of security. Such security measures also got implemented at the entrances of buildings. Certain types of people (based on their name and looks) started getting looked at with suspicion. Nations went after each other in retaliation.
2. Nov 2016 - the election of Donald Trump as the US President. While I had thought that I had seen the lowest of the lows, the year leading up to the Trump election and the four years of his rule demonstrated that the lowest of the lows can be easily breached, as I saw them breached over and over. Hate-mongering under the guise of free speech became acceptable behavior. Racism and police brutalities against minorities saw a rise like never before.
3. Mar 2020 - COVID-19. Science went for a toss as a year of COVID overlapped the Presidency of Trump. Social distancing became the new normal, and remote work for knowledge workers became the favored form of work. The myth about physical collocation for team efficiency was busted, the term "the great resignation" came into existence to represent the section of workforce that did not care to go back to their pre-pandemic work lives. Even as the economy recovered with a bang from the fall it took in March 2020, the chasm between science and personal freedoms cemented itself in a large fraction of society.
4. Jan 2021 - the U.S. Capitol Insurrection. The new low (normal) includes those who decry but cannot do a thing, and those who look the other way calling it a feature of a democracy.
5. And then ... Afghanistan (Aug 2021) ... and Ukraine (Feb 2022) .... nuff said!

With the new normals coming at us at increasing frequency, "back to normal" seems such a distant mirage!

Estrangement - a weird form of Empowerment

 

Detachment has long been touted as the recipe for an empowered and peaceful life. I have written about this, and its variation, Detachment without Indifference. The empowerment comes from a state of no emotional interdependencies, and no expectations. This can only result in a positive outcome. (I may even cynically cite a management consulting "success strategy" - set low expectations, and overachieve.)

The only difference between detachment and estrangement, is that detachment is often voluntary (that is, one works towards it and may achieve it to a smaller or greater extent), estrangement is involuntary (that is, it just "happens," is totally out of one's sphere of influence). While the final outcome may be the same, estrangement can arouse a "victim" feeling.

The personal challenge, then, is to treat estrangement with the same dispassion as detachment. This can help to achieve an acceptance of the situation and the elimination of hope about the estrangement diminishing or going away. If it does, and if it is what one wants, one may choose at that point in time to treat it however one may wish. If it doesn't, the expectations are absent, and the possibility of a disappointment is negligible.

When it comes to managing expectations, there is much to learn from out-of-favor stocks in the equity markets.

Look at the behavior of the Citigroup (NYSE:C) stock over the last four decades. I know people who kept buying more and more in 2007-08 when the stock started falling from its October 2006 high of over $500. "How long can this fall possibly last?", "This is a steal", "The stock must go up, sooner or later" were the sentiments I heard from the buyers. The stock has remained at less than 12% of its peak value for over a dozen years now - the "sooner" never happened, the "later" is nowhere in sight. In this case, we readily accept that there is no hope that it will rise back to its peak ever.

So, an estrangement is like the Citigroup stock. The quicker we achieve a state of acceptance of what it is and what not to expect from it, the faster is the attainment of internal tranquility and clarity on the path forward.

Atheism to Rationalism to Humanism ... a personal journey ... 2021

1960s. What am I?

Rewind over five decades to my formative years. I found myself in a joint-family home that included my parents, grand-parents, uncles and aunts. Religiously they were quite diverse, and that gave me a jump-start on an awareness that might otherwise have taken several years of discovery. My grand-mother was strictly religious (to the extent of forcing other members of the family to do certain things on certain days). My grand-father was more ritualistic than religious, and used to conduct an annual religious event that had been a family tradition, but didn't force anyone to do anything. My mother was in a state of surrender to whatever/ whoever power-that-be seeking strength from any source to help cope with distressful situations in the family. My father and uncles - I used to hear my grand-mother talk scornfully about their rebellion against religious practices and to be found nowhere near home when some rituals were conducted at home, and I listened to those stories with admiration! Who I was was not something that bothered me at that time, but what I am (on the religious spectrum) was a determination I thought I could make. Though my father and uncles (who were 30-somethings by that time and married to mostly conservative women) were never overt about their thoughts, and I found them slowly become religious for various reasons, I decided that what my father wanted to be was the most reasonable stance to adopt. Surprisingly, I got not no push-back from my father and he allowed me to engage in skeptical discussions. Maybe he was vicariously living his atheistic dream through me!

1970s. Experiences and Experiments

On the home front, my younger brother suffered a debilitating health condition and all family members were running from pillar to post - exploring all medical avenues available at that time, as well as succumbing to any number of "snake-oil" suggestions from "well-wishers" who provided anecdotal, unsubstantiated "success stories". Though the medical diagnostic efforts and treatments did not particularly turn out to be effective, they convinced me that there can be a method to the madness. Witnessing the futility of the latter, the absence of a super-power was established in my mind beyond a shadow of doubt.

In high school, I made a good friend (now deceased) who aspired to go to medical school, had his conditioning of ghost stories and the like, but was eager (I think now, looking back) to dispel his own fears. So, he and I ventured through graveyards and crematoriums and proved to ourselves through such and a few other experiments that the occult does not exist. I also heard about Dr. Abraham Kovoor (1898-1978), the self-proclaimed rationalist and could procure one of his books - Gods, Demons, and Spirits - which I read cover to cover a few times.

By the end of this decade, I was a die-hard rationalist!

1980s-2000s. Cruise Control.

On the personal front, these were the years of a bad marriage (now terminated) and I avoided any ideological conflicts on the religiosity dimension. What I did accomplish, though, is to raise two children in a religiously "anti-septic" environment. Though they went to some Hindu classes once-a-week or so, I was happy to see that they left no mark on them. Exposing them to the views of the native Americans, Buddhists, and any other faiths they wanted to learn about, I feel I have launched them in the world to be whatever they may want to be, and molt from one skin to another as they may find appropriate and on their own free will.

On the social front, religiosity was an awkward topic. There were people who thought they could "reconvert" (should I call this "revert"?) me through flawed arguments (e.g., if there is no god, how can you explain x, y, z) and retreated with some bad feelings when they realized their line of argument didn't hold water with me.

2010s-2020s. The Renaissance! 

Having remarried to a wonderfully supportive lady, the world seems to have opened up. With unconditional support to each other's journeys on this dimension, we have met numerous like-minded and accepting people and individuals where one feels safe to be oneself. Where were all these people all these years, I sometimes wonder. Social media have also facilitated such critical masses spanning age and geography boundaries.

It is not that awkward interactions in unexpected settings have completely disappeared. The personal journey to better deal with such people and situations continues.

One definition that has particularly appealed to me is the term "humanist." Greg Epstein defines this concisely as "good without god." The only part that I don't like about this definition is a prevalent thought that (my) godliness is highly correlated with virtue (and your godliness is not!) but ungodliness is most certainly devoid of virtue. So be it; I'd rather be in acceptance of the world around me than in denial!

What Happens When You Skip Kindergarten ... August 23, 2021

Hats off to Robert Fulghum for writing the New York Times Bestseller, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten over three decades ago. Recent events have increased my admiration for things I learned in my early formative years, which I re-learned with fancier terms in the life since then. This blog-post is an enumeration of a few nuggets of such fundamental learning.

• Unstable Equilibrium is not to be forecasted. A pencil standing on its point, a house of cards built in a windy environment, a spinning top. Unless there are efforts being made to counter the natural tendency to collapse, the pencil will fall, the house of cards will collapse, and the spinning top will fall on its side. (2021 mishap - Expecting the incumbent Afghan government to be fully functional until the US withdraws all its interests, after publicly predicting its collapse down the road)
• 
  A Chain Is Only As Strong As Its Weakest Link. When one looks for robustness of a system, one pays attention to strengthening the weakest link. If there is a single point of failure, one needs to find an alternate path that can take over if one path fails. (2021 mishap - (a) Surrendering one of two air bases, while knowing that there is an imminent airlift operation in adverse conditions. (b) Having only one open path to the only airport, and then looking to create other pathways when the bottlenecks are blatantly visible).
  
• Before You Lift A Heavy Bucket Of Water, Know Where You Will Be Placing It. If you don't, you are likely to get tired holding it or risk its coming down on your toes! (2021 mishap - It was known well in advance how many Americans, Allies, and Afghans who supported the US over the years needed to be evacuated. Doesn't one need to have prior agreements with receiving locations, so that the airlifted people can be temporarily or permanently landed?)
• There Is No I In TEAM. Jack and Jill helped each other carrying the pail of water down the hill. We know too well what happened when Jack fell down (and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after! They also spilled their pail of water!) This phrase is also emphasized to Little League Baseball and Soccer players. (2021 Mishap - There was a reason Allies were called Allies. They were supposed to be collaborated with, not surprised with a unilateral knee-jerk)

I can go on and on. There will be more chest-thumping, more investigations, more finger-pointing. For now, I am stressed about how I may face my Kindergarten teacher!

"The bug is a feature, by design" ...in today's politics - Aug 18, 2021

 

In software engineering, explaining away a defect ("bug") as a feature which is there by design (vs by accident) is a common joke. Today, we sadly saw it playing out with respect to the horrific conditions in Kabul arising from the US troops pull-out.

Biden was asked by George Stephanopoulos whether the current chaos was "priced into the pull-out plan," Biden unequivocally answered, "Yes." SO, THIS CHAOS BUG WAS A FEATURE, BY DESIGN!

How the situation has got to what it is will be the subject of much post-mortem - AAR (after-action review, per Gen Milley's vocabulary). It is now time for the Biden administration to adopt the line popularized by Trump - "It is what it is" - and stop continuing to play the worn out record justifying the pull-out.

In statistics, there is a concept of Conditional Probability - it represents the probability of an outcome given a certain condition. As of today - Aug 18, 2021 - the Kabul condition "is what it is." The remaining degrees of freedom are diminishing by the day, and the people in charge will exercise them in their best judgment - there will be some successes, some failures, and some unfulfilled promises/ expectations.

However, when it comes to Biden's standing in the country, around the world, and in the mind of the insignificant Democrat writing this note, it has suffered irreparable damage. The more he attempts damage control, the more he comes across disconnected from reality. 

So, here is what I advise Biden to do: 

• Say "mea culpa" and step down in grace sooner than later - this can save him the disgrace of investigations and their outcomes.
• Hand over the reins to Harris, let her apply her administrative skills to the remainder of the Presidential term
• Let Harris present herself to the world with the "I-am-not-your-father's-Oldsmobile" attitude

Maybe she will succeed. If she does, it prepares her for 2024 and can help with Democrats' chances in 2022 and 2024 for the Congress. If she doesn't, it can't be worse than what we have now.

Let us call this bug a bug - such acceptance is a prerequisite for its resolution.

Emptying the Mind ... 2021

 

There is much discussed about mindfulness, self-awareness, meditation, emotion-control, and variants. The irony is that all these journeys are long - sometimes, life-long. It seems that people get trapped in these journeys and the distinction between the journey and the destination seems blurred. Taking away all the jargon, the journey seems to be to achieve thoughtful detachment and equanimity - where one can be unaffected by the environs, and managing excitement within a narrow band.

While not denying the benefits that accrue from such efforts, I am looking for a high "return on investment" strategy so one can reach a reasonably good state of emotional peace in a reasonably short period of time (this being the "investment" or "costs" phase), so the benefits can be reaped in the remainder of ones life (this being the "returns" or "benefits" phase). Some argue that this is impossible - I tend to disagree. Some argue that this is very difficult - this opens up the challenge to achieve it with less difficulty and in less time.

As an avid fan of Urdu poetry, I have listened to this ghazal from a Hindi movie, sung by Jagjit Singh - from which I quote its most insightful verse:

aaj phir dil ne ek tamannaa kee

aaj phir dil ko hum ne samjhaayaa

Today, yet again my heart desired

Today, yet again I pacified my heart

It is natural for the heart (really, the mind) to desire. And in getting better and better at pacifying the heart, one can learn to brush off the desires with less and less effort. Soon, one would be able to anticipate the desires and nip them in the bud.

Thus, my journey begins - but with a near-term end in sight, so I can enjoy the maximum time at the destination!

Relationship Nuggets from Shobhaa De ... 2021

Most user manuals are written, but not read. Most reading suggestions are received, but not acted upon. While I have highly recommended Spouse - The Truth about Marriage by Shobhaa De to several people based on my enlightenment upon reading it, I know many may not feel motivated enough to read, enjoy and absorb it.

Perhaps, recognizing the same dynamic, Shobhaa has interspersed her book with "nuggets" - about one every 6 pages of the 287-pages-book, and also provided a bullet-list of highlights at the end of each of the twenty-five chapters.

So, here I extracted the nuggets into a Quick-Start-Manual (a Quickie, I may say, in Shobhaa's catty style) for those of us who can benefit from the messages but don't have the time and patience to read the book. You may get the feeling that the book is directed at women more than men, written in the Indian context and, at times, may come across sexist (as liberal/liberated as she is, she is also in acceptance of the contemporary society in which women need to survive and thrive) - but the principles seem to be universal, and I found no difficulty in internationalizing and masculinizing (?) the messages for my own benefit.

Even the most attentive partner can occasionally misread signals - don't make an issue out of it. Instead, go ahead and say what you need to. (p17)

Women carry on about 'feelings' ad nauseam. Men can't. We might as well accept this and teach ourselves to talk their language. (p25)

Recognize the difference between exchanging information and sharing ideas (p28)

Don't involve a third person in your fights. No person can be entirely impartial, which means one of you will cry foul - leading to another fight. (p38)

People say friends are for keeps. I am not so sure. Especially after marriage. Friendships that intrude or demand too much from either partner are best shunned. (p46)

Friends are not part of your dowry. Don't expect your partner to accept them instantly. (p49)

Arranged marriages have as much of a chance of working out as love marriages. Don't feel embarrassed about opting for the former. (p56)

Not all love marriages pan out the way they do in Bollywood films. Keep your rose-tinted shades on if you must, but watch out for those clouds. (p61)

Living through a spell of 'foul weather' in a marriage is one thing; living with a 'foul partner' is quite another. (p66)

Children exposed to a foul marriage get permanently damaged. The scars rarely heal. (p71)

Never discuss the dirty details with outsiders. Not even with 'well meaning' relatives and 'best friends'. All you're doing is providing grist for the gossip mills. (p76)

Be truthful with your kids, but don't go overboard with gory personal details. Tell them only as much as they need to know. (p81)

Marriage is not a business arrangement. Don't convert it into one, with terms and conditions spelt out contractually. (p88)

Trusting your partner is a good policy. But it's worthwhile to stay informed about your personal assets. (p101)

If you are a smart chick, you don't have to fake dumbness in order to make your partner shine. (p110)

Never talk down to your partner. Even in the privacy of your bedroom. (p115)

Trying to be one-up on your partner displays just one thing - insecurity. (p123)

People always look surprised when a wife challenges her husband's point of view in public. (p126)

Insist on fair play and transparency at all times. Too many men take full control over their wife's bank balance, without revealing their own. (p131)

Give in when it comes to personal quirks that drive a partner crazy. Wet towel on the bed? Pick it up - it's a quicker solution than fighting over who should do it. (p138)

Passion does not recognize age; it is certainly not reserved for teenagers. Ask M. F. Husain, if you don't believe me! (p148)

If you don't feel good about yourself, you can't make your partner feel good either. Work on your self-esteem and confidence, and see the difference. (p156)

Remember, sex is often in the head. Do not mock, criticize or rate a 'performance'. Sex is not a challenge with a trophy at the end. (p161)

Marital routines are unavoidable. But it helps to break them occasionally and do something unpredictable and unexpected. (p170)

Watch out for those 'harmless' flirtations - they have a nasty way of backfiring, especially if they occur on a holiday and follow you back to your home. (p175)

Two can play the cheating game. Are you ready to accept or overlook your partner's fling? (p180)

If there are no sparks left in your marriage and you can't do without casual affairs, why are you still in the marriage? (p185)

There is no substitute for togetherness - physical and emotional. (p192)

If long separations are unavoidable, make a set of rules about 'staying connected'. Don't look at those awful phone bills with horror - communication is your lifeline under the circumstanes. (p197)

Don't make the missing partner feel guilty about extended absences - he/she will run in the opposite direction rather than be forced to deal with the accusations of neglect. (p200)

Self-sufficiency is the spin-off from such an arrangement. Separations have a way of making partners feel less dependent, less clingy, less demanding. (p205)

Compromise need not be a dirty word if it works both ways - sometimes you give in, sometimes your partner does. (p210)

Hit the delete button when it comes to ego. There's no shame in meeting your partner halfway. (p213)

Don't try and score brownie points over your mother-in-law. Give her the entire cookie jar, instead! (p220)

Leave your husband out of daily squabbles. Bickering over unimportant stuff like who gets to holiday where, is silly and counterproductive. (p223)

Mothers-in-law should kill with kindness and generosity. Don't give your heart to your bahu, but hand over everything else. You'll feel so much lighter. (p230)

Remember, it's difficult for a mother to 'surrender' her son to a 'stranger'. Deal with her initial hurt with understanding and patience - for your own sake. (p235)

Competing for your attention with a new-born is a no-win situation for the poor husband. Don't allow that to happen. Get him to participate, instead. (p242)

Make the effort to dress and look the way you usually do. Pregnancy and childbirth are not afflictions to be endured. You should be looking your best during this period. (p247)

When you start looking outside your marriage for the all-important 'dependability factor', you should see it as an early warning sign that your relationship needs working on. (p256)

If complete self-sufficiency is everything, why bother with marriage at all? The decision to marry suggests a desire to share your life with another. (p261)

Most women use their sexuality to advantage when faced with situations that demand it. (p264)

Intimacy does not grow in a cold environment. It is like a hothouse bloom. Think of intimacy as an orchid and you'll automatically nurture it. (p270)

A healthy marriage needs the assurance that a partner will come through in an emergency, no matter what. (p275)

Follow the 'TTT' rule - Time, tolerance and tenderness. You need all three in abundance to make your marriage sing. (p278)

Addressing Bias - Today's Experience ... May 12, 2021

 

I answered the door-bell this afternoon to find our friendly neighbor (let me call him X - not his real initial), who has a habit of coming over without calling. When I opened the door, I found out that he needed change for a $20 bill. These days, I hardly use cash, so I was not sure if I would be able to satisfy his request. I went in and got my wallet, and found that I did have a reasonable variety of bills of different denominations.

I gave him 4 fives - he hesitated a bit; perhaps, because he was expecting a different set of bills. Maybe he wanted dollar bills or 2 tens or some other combination. His hesitation was my temptation to quip, so here is how it went:

A(seem): So X, you don't like Honest Abe, looks like! (referring to Abraham Lincoln's face on the $5 bill)

X: Actually, I don't! It was a good thing he freed the slaves, but he stopped short of sending them back to their home country.

A: WHAT? The slaves never came over on their own. They were herded up like animals and brought over, and then bred and traded. This is their country, much that this is my country! Please don't send me back to my home country!

X: You're right. Never thought of that. But you came over legally! And, you're a good neighbor. I'd never send you back.

A: The slaves didn't have a choice. They were captured and caged and shipped over. It is the slave-owners and slave-traders who needed to be prosecuted, not the slaves. Besides, the people who brought them over were long dead and gone, as the slavery practice went on for several generations. So, who could you prosecute? Definitely, not the slaves!

X: Oh, don't get me wrong. I had so many African American colleagues from the time I worked at Corporation ABC (not the real name). By the way, I do dislike Biden's immigration policy!

A: I do agree with you on that!

I am not sure if the above chat left X with a slightly different perspective. If it did, it was my good deed for the day to leave the world in a slightly less biased/racist state.

Faith and the State ... 2021

 

First, let me emphatically say that I am ecstatic about Joe Biden and Kamala Harris at the helm of the nation. Normalcy, decency, truth, transparency, trust, respect and many other characteristics of human integrity have returned to the White House and the Administration.

What has, however, irked me is the over-emphasis on President Biden's devout Catholicism. (Don't get me wrong - I would rather see a President regularly go to church, than call someone a p@$$#.) In this Democracy that stands for secularism - the separation of church and state, a Constitution from two centuries ago whose foresight we are awestruck with, I am seeing too much of godliness in the past few weeks.

Faith ought to be a deeply personal phenomenon. One may believe or not believe; believers may believe in whatever they want to believe. If one needs to seek strength from faith to overcome trauma from personal tragedies - that is a Constitutionally granted freedom in this nation.

But, let deep faith not be a metric of personal integrity! And, as a corollary, let the faithless not have additional burden to prove their integrity.

I say all this in this "one nation, under God" and while gleefully enjoying the green-back that says "In God We Trust".

Amen!

Black and White and Shades in Between ... 2021

 

We are all reeling from the miserably failed January 6, 2021 coup d'etat attempt on the U.S. Capitol that the entire world watched in disbelief in real-time as it unfolded. As more details are coming to be known from the evidence, tipsters and arrested suspects from the insurrection, we cannot but be shocked to see the extent of white supremacy that was on garish display - a confederate flag, anti-Semitic inscriptions on t-shirts, and slogans of racial and religious bigotry. The world is laughing us - the self-appointed custodians of democracy and world order. Is there any silver lining to this dark cloud?

The answer, undoubtedly, is YES. It is in the sentiment of abundance and sharing that still exists in the hearts of many - 

• You see it when white Americans (including the President-elect Joe Biden) decry white supremacy and make a case for fairness and representation for people of all types, by gender, race, color, any other difference
• You see it when men march for the status of women
• You see it when Jews protest against the "Muslim Ban"
• You see it when everybody marches for Black Lives Matter

This happens only in America! Despite all the vileness around us, there is much to be proud of.

There will be a doctor in the house .. finally

 

Yes, there will be a doctor in the (White) House, and that makes many of us proud. And, it is despicable that the Wall Street Journal - a publication of repute when I had last checked - allowed an Op-ed by a (sore ?) essayist, Joseph Epstein, "Is There a Doctor in the White House? Not, if You Need an M.D."

Really, Mr. Epstein? All you could find to disparage an incoming President is to go after his wife's credentials? Let me tell you a thing or two about Doctorates. People get these after doing eminent, ground-breaking work in their respective fields. People with doctorates do know a thing or two - but they also know that there is much that they don't - and, that is important. Let me put before you another towering personality with a doctorate, Martin Luther King, Jr. If you don't know what he did, what he is known for and you would like to disparage him in the same way as you did Dr. Jill Biden, I forgive you for your ignorance.

And, do you want the likes of an M.D. like Scott Atlas in the (White) House? Let alone the White House, I would not like to have him in my house, peddling counter-medical opinions. Fortunately, M.D.s like Scott Atlas are in an extreme minority. Physicians who I have crossed paths with - from the pediatricians who treated my children, to specialists that have provided their expert opinions - are those who I hold in high regard.

Even if you had an M.D. in your house, and (s)he is not a radiologist providing you bad virology advice, they know their area of expertise as well as their limitations, and they would know or try to find out other experts who may know a thing or two about the medical situation.

So, chill, Mr. Epstein! It is really not important whether there is an M.D. in the White House. It is extremely important, however, that adults with high integrity and good judgment are in the White House - and this country is celebrating that.

Quadrants of Thought (credits to Navin Ramachandran)

 

Finding Nemo ... oops, I meant Navin ... has been a fascinating experience. Not that he was lost (any more than the rest of us are), but I didn't know the life thinker side of him and his eagerness to let others benefit from his evolution.

Thus, some interesting thoughts posted by Navin and the ensuing discussion resulted in an insightful chat with him a couple of Fridays ago, and this blogpost is an elaboration of one of the frameworks Navin suggested - almost literally, as a "napkin sketch." In his humility, he calls this universal wisdom that has no ownership - just that I must have gone to the bathroom while the universe enjoyed such wisdom ;-)

In a framework that can turn a management scientist on, the premise is that you live in memory or in thoughts built on memories - and this influences your behaviors, actions, and attitude towards life. On the (horizontal) time scale, you may divide your thoughts into the Past and the Future; on the (vertical) effect scale, you may divide your them into those that are uplift you and those that drag you down. You can find yourself constantly in one of the four quadrants and that has its respective effect on your energetic state of being.

If your dominant narrative is Reminiscing or Daydreaming, it can be an uplifting experience; if it is Regret or Anxiety, it can drain you down. Being seldom in awareness of the present, you can find yourself out of synchrony with life - that you are auto-engaged in the Regrets or Anxieties - a consequence of the natural conditioning of self-preservation.

Trying to force yourself into Reminiscing and Daydreaming can bring with it narratives of regret and anxiety.

The strategy, therefore, is to let go of the narratives that drag you down - in totality, in acceptance, and without shame. Then, you find yourself in balance in the center - with a state of awareness. The narratives don't disappear - it is just that we learn to be centered and awake/aware in an effortless way.

More Fridays with Navin can result in a sequel to a 2000 bestseller, and it could well be called Fridays with Navin!

COVID-19 Vaccination - Equitable Distribution ... 2020

 

The demand for the vaccine far exceeds the supply. To quantify the gap, the initial batch booked by the U.S. Government can cover no more than 15% even if all patient access issues are addressed, much smaller if you take the patient access factors into consideration. The U.S. represents about 5% of the world population. As a pandemic that needs to cover every person on the face of this earth (as polio vaccination has mostly addressed), the demand-supply disparity is even more dire. I limit the remainder of this post to the U.S. context.

Rationing is inevitable when a scarce resource has to be equitably distributed to a large population. Who gets how much? We have heard of criteria (a) health care workers and first responders, (b) other essential workers, (c) high risk individuals. At first glance, these criteria seem reasonable. The rubber meets the road in the execution.

Having lost all faith in the checks and balances in the U.S. judicial and executive branches, I pose the following (possibly, rhetorical) questions, so we as conscientious citizens navigate the challenge.

Using affluence and influence to beat the system is not uncommon - whether it is for dodging the draft, or getting a not-so-accomplished child into a top-notch school, or declaring the Vice President as an "essential worker" so he can campaign for the election.

Even if the corruption factor doesn't exist (or, we ignore for a moment), how does one say one person needs to be ahead of another when they are in the same categories as above? Who makes those determinations? Does it open up a laborious legal procedure, as we have seen with frivolous lawsuits to question the recent election results?

Perhaps, the imminent change of leadership will help, as the leaders will lead by example. However, they cannot carry the entire burden of fixing the fabric of the nation faster than COVID-19 will ravage the country. 

We have civil ways of addressing someone who cuts the check-out line at the grocery store or the check-in line at an airport gate - following generally accepted principles. The need of the hour is such collective, social conscience. There is too much at stake to let bullies of any sort take charge .. again.

Ideology Changes and Damped Systems ... 2020

 

Trying to understand the dynamics and outcome of the just-completed US Presidential election, memories of systems behavior from the engineering days came to my rescue.

The behavior of a system such as a spring-loaded door with a damper behaves typically in ways described by the above graph. If the door is ideally supposed to be adjusted to be "critically damped" - in this setting, the door gradually but without much delay settles into its equilibrium state. If overdamped (as can happen in cold weather), the door takes an unusually long time to reach that state. In an underdamped (as can happen in hot weather), the door comes in faster than ideal, and may oscillate back and forth before settling into its equilibrium.

Applying this analogy to today's society, consider the area under the dotted line as Conservative or Right-wing; the area above the dotted line as Liberal or Left-wing. In the last four years, we find our society stretched too far to the Conservative side (threats about reversing Roe vs Wade, conservative judges in the Supreme Court, ...) and the hype is high due to the rhetoric from the departing President. This has resulted in today's society to be near the origin of the above graph. Examples of the rhetoric are - condoning white supremacist and other racist behaviors, instigation of armed militia through incendiary statements during rallies and debates. 

Now that this compressed spring is released, it is natural to see society to swing too far left before it overcompensates for a few cycles. The advantage of this is that normalcy is achieved sooner, albeit through swings of smaller amplitude.

I would rather have this, than an overdamped system where "wanting to do the right thing" takes an inordinate amount of time to figure it out. The impatience to come into a normal zone is high, and I am ready for some swings!

Cynicism 2020

 

There is a reason why I write this a day before the Presidential election in the USA. That is because I don't want it to be perceived as written in jubilation if the side I am rooting for wins, or in despair if it loses. I write this as a full-fledged member of a democracy - a form of government of the people, by the people, for the people - taking accountability for whatever is along with the hundreds of millions of other participants

No matter who wins the election, my cynicism runs high today about

• heels dug deep in the muck that preclude any other point of view. "My way or highway" is contrary to the fundamentals of democracy, and has resulted in "you belong in the majority, or you don't matter"
• checks and balances that live in name only, and we have witnessed a blatant abuse of power
• the motives of the politicians in running a country - a boost to their ego, I can accept; widespread nepotism and corruption, I cannot
• the years it will take to recover from the damage to the fabric of the nation - whether it is a form of government, or respect for science, or acceptance of a different-looking/thinking/worshipping person
• .....

The father of democracy, Cleisthenes, and the founding fathers of the United States are spinning in their graves. Cynicism is a negative emotion. I have it today. But then, knowing the problems to be solved and accepting them is necessary to work towards resolving them.

Vasanti Chandavarkar (1933-2020) .. the little engine that could

 

With the passing of my mother, Vasanti, we celebrate a life dedicated to service and rehabilitation.

Fortunate to be one of the first women in her family to earn a college degree, she pitched in to the family cash flow by working at a Burshane (cooking gas cylinders) distribution store and the Handloom House back office until she got caught up full time with the rehabilitation of her younger child who got paralyzed at the age of one. Whether it was carrying him to therapy with his crutches and other paraphernalia through uncooperative crowds on Bombay's buses and trains in rain or shine, or running after snake-oil and spiritual remedies around the country suggested by anecdotal stories brought to her by well-wishers - she left no stone unturned. Looking ahead to the time when they will not be able to care for him, my parents joined forces with other families with similar situations to establish of a permanent residential facility for the physically and emotionally challenged.

Drained by the intensity of her life, she passed the last couple of decades in constant proximity of my father, who ensured that all her needs were met, as we saw her memory fade away in recent years.

She will be remembered not only by the extended family and friends but also those whose paths she crossed in the rehabilitation and elder care worlds.

Is this real, or is this an exaggeration? ... 2020

 

A close friend asked an almost rhetorical question triggered by an eye-opening article Arundhati Roy: Two Conspiracies and a Cremation. This motivated the title of this blog-post, "Is this real, or is this an exaggeration?" Arundhati Roy's article addresses situations of religious extremism and sexual violence in India, using some shameful examples from the recent past.

While most of us despair about the societal degeneration that manifests in such barbaric incidents of violence, I find it more sad that the real answer to this question is "It depends on who you ask".

Such despicable behaviors and thinking is not limited to the largest democracy in the world. It is as prevalent in the most prosperous democracy in the world. Ask the leaders in today's USA, "Is there systemic racism/ white supremacy in the country?" As witnessed by recent events, the President and the Attorney General have claimed not to know what the question means. Ask the same question to Rev. Al Sharpton, or Van Jones or Martin Luther King III, or the families of African Americans asphyxiated or shot down by Caucasian police, you'll get a very different answer.

We do want to solve the problem, but we first need to acknowledge the problem. Living in denial of the problem is no less criminal than the problem itself.

The Path of Reason and Dispelling Faith, Superstition, Beliefs, Myths ... 2020

As subscribers to the method of reason, we have all confronted situations that are blatantly rooted in dogma (def: principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true). Sometimes, the "authority" is a scripture, sometimes a religious/cult leader, sometimes family or cultural practices or conditioning. As we counter these at every opportunity, I have wondered about the effectiveness or stickiness of our actions. One thing I can definitely say is that we leave behind our image of being weird and non-conforming!

This motivated me to dissect the irrationalism into the following framework:

1. Reason Aversion. Those who are bought into dogma are bought into it at a very deep level. This level precludes skepticism and the possibility of a meaningful dialog. 
2. Faith. Faith is used by people for unconditional surrender and a delegation (abdication?) of responsibilities (and worries) to an unknown, "divine" entity. People may be in this state without having thought about the reasoning for this state, and may even find the questioning of such faith uncomfortable. 
3. Superstition & Beliefs. These usually stem from folk-lore or coincidences mistaken as correlations. A particular faith may have its set of superstitions and beliefs. In most cases, people follow these practices in a benign manner. In several cases, there are manipulators (e.g., god-men and god-women) who exploit the faith of the believers/followers.
4. Irrational Behaviors. A practice of a superstition/belief is seen as an irrational behavior. These are the visible manifestations of superstitions and beliefs.

Irrational behaviors are the easiest to spot and attempt to address. Some years ago, a niece would not hand me a pair of scissors - she wanted to place the scissors on the table for me to pick up, because if she handed me the scissors, it would induce a fight between us. I resisted picking up from the table, she refused to give me directly, and the fight ensued even though I finally took the scissors from the table. Looking back at the episode: (a) henceforth, she will avoid any scissors interaction with me, (b) her superstition remains as strong as ever, (c) I established myself as a weirdo ;-)

The silly example above is just to illustrate the futility of countering the symptom when the root cause is left untouched. Was it worth my while to attempt to dispel the myth in my niece's mind? Her belief in the myth comes from her personal insecurity and lack of conviction. I wasn't attempting, and did not have the opportunity to address the insecurity and lack of conviction.

It is not that people will not change their views or be open to discussion. "Strike while the iron is hot," is the saying. Sometimes, it takes some serious trauma for a believer to feel "let down by the almighty." Unless a believer opens up for such or other proactive, introspective reasons, I think it is futile to butt heads on the symptoms. It is only when a believer becomes a skeptic that (s)he is open to a dialog based on reason. The time is also ripe for the person to be convinced that not everything is known or will ever be known, and it is ok to have many unknowns at any point in time. The believer was just ascribing all the unknowns to the divine entity - which can just be a semantic matter!

Such opportunities for paradigm shifts are rare. Many beliefs just die out with the generation, their progeny typically are less strong believers and better skeptics, and the cultural-anthropological-evolution continues. Some societies evolve faster than others, given the freedom of thought, expression, and without any stigma for non-conformance with the culture.