It must have been about twenty years ago that I had the opportunity (thanks, AT&T!) to attend a multi-day training program about Stephen Covey's 7 Habits. As a nominee to the Leadership Continuity Program, I had to attend many such soft skills programs, and had found most of them to be just common sense not particularly enlightening. However, the 7-Habits course was different. It struck a chord, and the principles have guided my life and behavior since. Rohini has seen me frequently refer to Covey, and found to her astonishment that Covey's book happened to be on her book-shelf all along - just waiting to be dusted off, read, and lived! While it has become her "Bible" ever since, she asked me to share my experience from the last two decades with living the 7 habits. So, here it goes ....
It all starts with assessing ones "paradigm." This word may mean different things to different people, and I have found more commonality in those interpretations than differences. To me, it is a frame of reference (of mind) that holds the principles that I want to live by, that I find useful to my personal progress and growth, and exclude detrimental factors. Hence, analysis of the past, worrying about the future, negative emotions like anger and anxiety do not belong in my paradigm. I look to Eckhart Tolle's characterization of a pain body to ensure that none of those enter my paradigm. And, if they involuntary do, as they do sometimes, I train myself to ignore them, and not to give them any more attention than one may give to an irritation caused by a mosquito bite. Nobel Laureate John Nash's story picturized in the movie A Beautiful Mind is another example of how one needs to practise distancing from undesirable matter in ones paradigm.
One of the habits that my favorite is to start with the end goal in mind. I find this to be a necessary, but not a sufficient condition. One can have an end goal in mind, but be indulging of random walk with the "hope" of reaching there. Under such conditions, if you do reach your goal in a reasonable time, it would be by circumstance and not by choice. So, I add a sufficiency condition to this habit, to make it my habit - start with the end goal in mind AND take decisive small steps that make measurable progress towards the goal. There can be many paths to the same goal, and one cannot be paralyzed in analyzing the pros and cons to an extreme level of detail. One needs to accept the uncertainties imposed by extraneous factors, and that the skill to be achieved is in rapid replanning if you believe that the net result of the executed steps have not yielded the intended intermediate progress. It is not a time for self-flagellation for the steps that have now been proven to be wrong - it is time for gathering yourself again and moving from where you have reached to where you want to reach. "Think globally, act locally" is a popular management catch phrase. The fact is that acting locally is ones only choice. It better be contributing to ones global objectives.
This leads to the next habit of being proactive. Being proactive eliminates the victim mentality and kills any fatalistic attitude. It leaves no room for the self-consoling tautology "whatever happens, happens for the best." It puts one in charge of oneself, and gives one the responsibility, accountability, and empowerment to act. It encourages taking measured risks, it takes one out of a state of complacency and wishful thinking.
Implied in the above two habits is the one about prioritization - putting first things first. The end goal is one representation of what is to be achieved, at the possible exclusion or subordination of other things. In defining the end goal, one has implicitly put first things first. The habit goes further to my extension of the end goal habit about acting locally - one recognizes the limitations of capacity (time, energy, funds, mental capacity) and executes on the tasks that contribute to the end goal - again, at the exclusion or subordination of other tasks. This can mean forgoing watching television because you have an SAT test coming up, or a planned vacation because you have just started a new job.
Once you have a fair amount of personal victory through the three habits above, one seeks progress in interpersonal settings. The one that appeals to me the most is to work towards win-win balances with others - even in an adversarial negotiation. I believe that unless there is a perceived value for each party in the deal, the party that feels compromized (that is, the loser in a win-lose deal) will continue to seek their "fair" value through opportunistic win-lose behaviors. The latter behavior can lead to negative outcomes for all and leave a bad taste in eveyone's mouths.
A necessary characteristic to achieve a win-win is for each party to exercise "seek first to understand, then to be understood". In today's fast-paced world, everybody is too impatient to solve a problem - even without having heard, absorbed, and reflected on it. This, clearly, results in the problem being solved in a less than complete way. Much that there is pressure to solve a problem quickly, investing the time upfront to listen and understand results in a better solution found more expeditiously. If not, the problem-solution-problem cycle iterates several times until the evolved solution seems to solve the problem.
Yet another habit, "seeking synergy" is taking win-win to a higher level. This addresses the opportunity amongst multiple parties to create a sum-total value that is greater than the sum of the parts. This result is obtained when all parties are working in sync with each other, and when teamwork has evolved to a level where the success of another party is as personal as ones own.
The last habit - sharpening the saw - needs to be a way of life for all. As our world evolves, the skills we have become obsolete and our efficiency decreases just like that of a saw whose teeth have become blunt from use. An increasing effort is needed to achieve the same result, and frequently, the world goes through a quantum leap, as experienced in the technology world, to leave you behind with your irrelevant skills. Regularly testing the job market with ones sellability can give one the necessary wake-up call to sharpen the saw before too late. In interpersonal, family relationships, sharpening the saw is equally applicable in the context of investments in the "emotional bank accounts" - another powerful concept coined by Stephen Covey.
It all starts with assessing ones "paradigm." This word may mean different things to different people, and I have found more commonality in those interpretations than differences. To me, it is a frame of reference (of mind) that holds the principles that I want to live by, that I find useful to my personal progress and growth, and exclude detrimental factors. Hence, analysis of the past, worrying about the future, negative emotions like anger and anxiety do not belong in my paradigm. I look to Eckhart Tolle's characterization of a pain body to ensure that none of those enter my paradigm. And, if they involuntary do, as they do sometimes, I train myself to ignore them, and not to give them any more attention than one may give to an irritation caused by a mosquito bite. Nobel Laureate John Nash's story picturized in the movie A Beautiful Mind is another example of how one needs to practise distancing from undesirable matter in ones paradigm.
One of the habits that my favorite is to start with the end goal in mind. I find this to be a necessary, but not a sufficient condition. One can have an end goal in mind, but be indulging of random walk with the "hope" of reaching there. Under such conditions, if you do reach your goal in a reasonable time, it would be by circumstance and not by choice. So, I add a sufficiency condition to this habit, to make it my habit - start with the end goal in mind AND take decisive small steps that make measurable progress towards the goal. There can be many paths to the same goal, and one cannot be paralyzed in analyzing the pros and cons to an extreme level of detail. One needs to accept the uncertainties imposed by extraneous factors, and that the skill to be achieved is in rapid replanning if you believe that the net result of the executed steps have not yielded the intended intermediate progress. It is not a time for self-flagellation for the steps that have now been proven to be wrong - it is time for gathering yourself again and moving from where you have reached to where you want to reach. "Think globally, act locally" is a popular management catch phrase. The fact is that acting locally is ones only choice. It better be contributing to ones global objectives.
This leads to the next habit of being proactive. Being proactive eliminates the victim mentality and kills any fatalistic attitude. It leaves no room for the self-consoling tautology "whatever happens, happens for the best." It puts one in charge of oneself, and gives one the responsibility, accountability, and empowerment to act. It encourages taking measured risks, it takes one out of a state of complacency and wishful thinking.
Implied in the above two habits is the one about prioritization - putting first things first. The end goal is one representation of what is to be achieved, at the possible exclusion or subordination of other things. In defining the end goal, one has implicitly put first things first. The habit goes further to my extension of the end goal habit about acting locally - one recognizes the limitations of capacity (time, energy, funds, mental capacity) and executes on the tasks that contribute to the end goal - again, at the exclusion or subordination of other tasks. This can mean forgoing watching television because you have an SAT test coming up, or a planned vacation because you have just started a new job.
Once you have a fair amount of personal victory through the three habits above, one seeks progress in interpersonal settings. The one that appeals to me the most is to work towards win-win balances with others - even in an adversarial negotiation. I believe that unless there is a perceived value for each party in the deal, the party that feels compromized (that is, the loser in a win-lose deal) will continue to seek their "fair" value through opportunistic win-lose behaviors. The latter behavior can lead to negative outcomes for all and leave a bad taste in eveyone's mouths.
A necessary characteristic to achieve a win-win is for each party to exercise "seek first to understand, then to be understood". In today's fast-paced world, everybody is too impatient to solve a problem - even without having heard, absorbed, and reflected on it. This, clearly, results in the problem being solved in a less than complete way. Much that there is pressure to solve a problem quickly, investing the time upfront to listen and understand results in a better solution found more expeditiously. If not, the problem-solution-problem cycle iterates several times until the evolved solution seems to solve the problem.
Yet another habit, "seeking synergy" is taking win-win to a higher level. This addresses the opportunity amongst multiple parties to create a sum-total value that is greater than the sum of the parts. This result is obtained when all parties are working in sync with each other, and when teamwork has evolved to a level where the success of another party is as personal as ones own.
The last habit - sharpening the saw - needs to be a way of life for all. As our world evolves, the skills we have become obsolete and our efficiency decreases just like that of a saw whose teeth have become blunt from use. An increasing effort is needed to achieve the same result, and frequently, the world goes through a quantum leap, as experienced in the technology world, to leave you behind with your irrelevant skills. Regularly testing the job market with ones sellability can give one the necessary wake-up call to sharpen the saw before too late. In interpersonal, family relationships, sharpening the saw is equally applicable in the context of investments in the "emotional bank accounts" - another powerful concept coined by Stephen Covey.
2 comments:
Have you read 'Awaken the Giant Within- by Anthony Robins?I read that before reading 7 Habits. I thought 7 Habits is kind of subset of this book. I liked the way Anthony Robin narrates and unfold as it is how own experience of rags to riches..
Have you read 'Awaken the Giant Within- by Anthony Robins?I read that before reading 7 Habits. I thought 7 Habits is kind of subset of this book. I liked the way Anthony Robin narrates and unfold as it is how own experience of rags to riches..
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